(yes. it’s been two years since I posted a blog post).
It occurred to me as I was editing wedding photos for Courtney and Mike that you all don’t have the opportunity to see what I see. The back end of this work. In this digital age where we can click,click,click when waiting for the moment (a blessing and a curse), editing photos is this walk toward finding the moment. It reminds me of being in the darkroom, ages ago, when an image would reveal itself in its perfect imperfection, under the developer, watery and impermanent. My breath would catch when an image was developing. My memory triggered, the moment, the hope, the art, the light, the people. Did it all line up as I thought that it had in that split second when I chose to depress the shutter? That tentative dance that my mind and heart had to do – between freedom and structure, technicality and intuition…how did it pan out? Every roll of film carried these questions. So much so that I still forget that people don’t see the world in the way that my heart and brain have been trained to see.
I was quickly clicking through this series, deleting all that didn’t resonate with me before sending these files to the client. I went through them in 10 seconds – and in my head I heard the mantra of all of these years in this field: “nope, nope, nope, nope, yup”. Yup. Her eyes are closed. Maybe the fifth is not a perfect image. But I see his eyes. The way that she abandons herself into him. And the way he looks at her. His wife, on this day.