Eddy and Flow

79. This past fall I was reading Pema Chodron’s “When Things Fall Apart” …. brilliant in its clarity and wisdom. In dealing with loss, she said, we often try to run as far from that pain as possible by rebuilding what we know, what we have known, to be true. But in that race to erase discomfort, we squander the golden opportunity, as golden as the sunrise out my window. The opportunity to build from the ashes something new, something unknown. How often do we have that chance, to use our lifetime of experience to define how we want to be in the world? Not the definition of ourselves that developed as we grew into adults, but our adult selves consciously choosing where and how to focus. I’m thinking of these words in conjunction with a memory of talking with this brilliant astrologer, a woman my soul sisters and I have been meeting with on and off since we were 26. This was May of 2019. She said to me “get clear on the big things in your life over these next nine months. Do the work to be content with where you are, what you’re doing, and who you’re with. Because come January 2020 (the 20th will be a day to note) not much is going to change for the following two to three years.” Well, we’re over one year in. I think most are treading water, and most I know are simultaneously anxious to not squander this time. But maybe it’s just what it is. We’re in the ebb … more accurately to me it feels more like an eddy. We’re in a collective stillness. What will we build once the currents change and the flow begins once again?

(p.s. Maybe Atmo was a day off, but I’m thinking they just reported it a day late).